It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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