I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
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let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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