3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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