My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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