Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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