The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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