So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize