Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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