she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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