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You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just found puke in my bra..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Randomize
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