I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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