i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no, he came in my armpit
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
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ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize