Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
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I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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