Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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