Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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