He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
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You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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