Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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