Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize