see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize