i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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