My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize