shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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