so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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