Tell her she can't have a vagina
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize