roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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