dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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