You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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