Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize