I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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