You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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