I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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