What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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