Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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