I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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