Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize