i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
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Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
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my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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