I hate all girls vehemently.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
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I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
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