somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
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She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
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You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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