battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize