was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize