If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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