she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize