Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize