I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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