I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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