Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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