I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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