So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
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Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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