if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize