We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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